


Being Human And All

by OwenToDawn



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Anal Sex, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Canon Fix-It, Rimming, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 08:42:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18891121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OwenToDawn/pseuds/OwenToDawn
Summary: It’s like for a small bit of time, Riku lets him be that way. For a small bit of time, Riku carves out a space for him to just exist in any way he needs to.





	Being Human And All

**Author's Note:**

> Finally! It's been 5 months. I'm sorry. I'm sitting on 6 half completed fics. 3 are kpop. 1 is my old x-men fic (yes I'm still working on it wild right). The other 2 are a KH fics. I swear I'll get them all out soon it's just been a crazy few months. 
> 
> Please let me know if you enjoyed this, comments and kudos are both loved. 
> 
> Title from Trout Heart Replica by Amanda Palmer

Sora wakes with a hand clasped over his own mouth to hold the scream clawing at his throat inside. His body trembles, shivers skittering across sweat-soaked skin as he forces himself to breathe slow and steady so as not to wake the sleeping form beside him. He glances over and watches Riku breathe.

 _He’s alive_.

It’s the same dream as it always is, the sun shining above them as the tidal wave rushes for shore and he reaches, arms straining, fingers popping, desperate to catch Riku’s hand and pull him close but then the water crashes over them both and they’re torn away from each other. Even now, even after saving Riku’s heart, he can’t shake the fear that Riku will slip form him again. Just like Kairi.

She’s down the hall. Sometimes she sleeps with them, plagued by the same sense of fear that hangs at the back of all their minds. Tonight though, he’s on his own. He lets his hand fall back on the bed and turns his face towards the window to watch as the clouds chase each other across the sky and obscure the light of the moon. The stars seem so much more plentiful here in the Land of Departure. Aqua tells him it’s because it exists at the nexus of a system of worlds whereas Destiny Islands floats on the outskirts.

He misses the sound of the ocean, but the terrible way he feels back home isn’t worth the comforting sound. He’d returned Kairi home at first and for a few days their parents were so relieved to have them back, everything felt fine. Riku’s parents had adjusted for the most part, but then Riku had been back home for a few months before Sora and Kairi returned, and on top of that, their parents had been willing to accept Riku as the responsible one of the group.

But his parents had no idea what to do with a son who’d shouldered the weight of the universe for three years. So he’d left.

Riku and Kairi had come with him of course because the three of them refused to be apart from each other now. Sora knew now that he’d sacrifice everything for them. He pitied the next person who tried to pull them apart, and there would be another because there always was.

The thoughts don’t help the panic and he inhales sharp through his nose before looking back at Riku. The clouds move and moonlight streams through their window. Riku’s nose scrunches up before his face smooths back out, settling even deeper into sleep. Sora swallows, heart thudding slow but heavy in his chest. He reaches out before he can stop himself, hand moving towards Riku’s face before it drops back down to grab at Riku’s hand instead, twining their fingers together.

Riku’s fingers curl around his, squeezing once before going limp, seemingly a reflex. He goes still for a moment, terrified that he’s torn Riku from the depths of sleep, but Riku doesn’t move again outside a slight shift in his shoulders.

He wishes he weren’t such a child. If he were half the man he should be by now, he would be able to sleep through the night without someone holding his hand. His thoughts don’t get a chance to spiral much further because Riku jerks awake, hand twitching in Sora’s even as the rest of him goes completely still as his eyes open. Like Sora, he wakens from nightmares with barely a sound.

Riku squeezes his hand once more before relaxing and then turning on his side so they’re face to face. The clouds shift again, obscuring part of his face in darkness.

“Hey,” he says, voice soft in the quiet of the room.

“Hi,” Sora says. “Did I wake you?”

Riku shakes his head once. “No. Just…the usual.” He lifts the shoulder facing the ceiling up in a partial shrug.

Nightmares plague them both, though Sora has a feeling Riku’s are worse.

“Hey, what’s that look for?” Riku asks.

Sora flushes, wishing that for once in his life he could learn how to hide his thoughts better, but then it is Riku. He’ll always be able to see right through him. “I love you.”

Riku frowns. “I love you too.”

“That’s not what I…” Sora huffs and then presses closer, pushing their lips together in a clumsy slide. It’s not the most graceful kiss they’ve shared, but Sora isn’t sure how else he’s supposed to convey the desperate need in his chest to prove to himself that Riku’s still here. That he’s still here. That they aren’t about to slip away through each other’s grasp once more.

Riku pushes him back, but just for a moment. Just long enough to slide over him and cup his face in his hands, finger tips rough with callouses as he steadies the kiss and slips his tongue inside. Sora can’t help but grasp at his hands, clinging to them as they kiss, as Riku presses him down. Counterintuitive as it seems, the pressure helps him breathe. He’s alive because he can feel and if he’s still alive then he can keep breathing.

His eyes open when Riku slides his lips across his jaw and down to his neck, thumbs digging into his chin and tilting his head up. He stares at the ceiling and watches as the moonlight dances across it with the moving clouds, body trembling as Riku’s lips slick wet and hot across his skin. Desperate for stimulation, he pushes his fingers into Riku’s hair. His hair is so familiar to Sora’s fingers, all of him is. Touching Riku is like touching himself. He knows his body as intimately as his own, knows the give and pull of it from years playing as kids and then young teens, as fighters against each other. Knows him so well that it didn’t matter his skin, his face, his eyes, one touch and he knows it’s Riku.

"Please,” he says as Riku’s teeth scrape at his collarbone. His fingers twist in Riku’s hair, begging for that flash of pain that steadies him like nothing else.

“Not tonight,” Riku says, voice soft as he pulls back to look Sora in the eyes, hands still cradling his face. “It doesn’t have to be like that to help you be here.”

Sora knows it doesn’t. He just doesn’t have the patience for the long way, the way where Riku touches him so carefully, like he’s glass, like he’s fragile and breakable, but not in a way that feels as if he’s not being seen. It’s different. It’s like for a small bit of time, Riku lets him be that way. For a small bit of time, Riku carves out a space for him to just exist in any way he needs to.

But he’s willing to trust Riku.

Riku sits back and pushes Sora’s sleep shirt up, calloused fingers sliding over smooth skin, up and up until he can pull it over his head and let it drop to the floor. His own shirt follows and then he’s back, stretched over him. Sora reaches for him, hands pushing into his hair as they kiss and for a moment, Riku indulges him, tongue wet and hot as one hand skirts down his side in a light, almost ticklish touch. Then he pulls Sora’s hands away and presses them to the pillow on either side of his head.

“Try and keep them there for me, okay?” Riku says, gaze warm and so, so accepting Sora feels like he’s going to break apart.

He presses one last kiss to Sora’s lips and then he’s moving down to his neck again, leaving teasing little bites and kisses that have him shivering and shaking as he tries to keep his hands up by his head. Goosebumps follow the trail of Riku’s lips as he moves to his collarbone and his fingers brush up and down his sides. It’s so soft, gentle even. It’s the treatment he craves but recoils from all at once. It’s the treatment that’s hard to relax into and trust. He takes a deep breath, deliberate in his counting of each breath in and each breath out as Riku’s lips reach the middle of his chest and slide across his ribs.

It helps. With each slow and steady breath, he relaxes further into the mattress. By the time Riku’s mouthing at his hips and the sensitive skin that lies between his belly button and the hem of his pants, his mind feels liquid and syrupy slow as pleasure replaces the frantic energy inside.

Riku pulls down the sleep pants, sitting up long enough to tug them down Sora’s legs and toss them aside. Instead of returning to where he was, he grabs Sora’s hips as he sits back on his heels, pulling Sora down so his ass against Riku’s knees as Riku maneuvers one leg up and guides the other to curl around his hips. Then his lips press to the sensitive space beneath his ankle bone and Sora’s fingers curl in the sheets. With the moonlight and shadows dancing across his face, Sora can’t help but feel breathless at the way Riku’s eyes slide shut as his lips caress his calf.

He never knew something like that could feel so good. Every inch of his skin feels hypersensitive, little jolts of pleasure coursing through him at every press of Riku’s lips along his leg all the way up to the knee. His cock drools precome out onto his stomach, leaving a progressively stickier mess behind as Riku sets his leg down and goes to grab the next.

“Please, please,” Sora says. “More…”

Riku’s eyes open, just a little, slits of bright sea green that seem to glow in the moonlight. “I suppose.”

He barely stops his own desperate noise of frustration as Riku climbs off the bed, legs twisting together restlessly as he watches Riku strip the rest of his clothes off. He must not succeed because Riku gives him a teasing smile. Before he can say anything though, Riku grabs the lube from the bedside drawer and returns to the bed, this time situating himself between Sora’s legs. Sora flinches at the cool plastic of the bottle against his hip but then Riku’s hands brush it aside as he grabs his hips and presses a kiss to his balls, wet and sloppy. He spreads his legs on reflex, eyes sliding shut.

Then Riku’s tongue slides against his hole and his back is arching, fingers tugging at the sheets as he squirms and gasps out something that might be Riku’s name but could just be nonsense for all the coherency he feels. Every inch of his skin already feels electrified and now with this, the way Riku cradles his hips and licks at him like he’s desperate to make him fall apart beneath him, it’s impossible for him to remain rooted in his head and his thoughts and his worries. He supposes that’s the point.

He goes limp on the bed, breathing ragged as Riku licks him open, hands sliding down to stretch him wide. Sora smashes his face into his own arm, whining. He wants more, wants Riku’s fingers, wants his cock, wants to be full but he’s so overwhelmed, but his words are too far away for him to ask. Riku listens anyways, hands disappearing long enough for Sora to hear the click of lube opening and then the fingers are back, two rubbing at his hole.

It’ll be too much to start. They haven’t fucked in a while, but Sora wants the burn of it and Riku seems willing to indulge him as a reward for how patient he’s been, pressing both in slow but firm. Sora bites at his bicep as he rolls his hips down. Then there’s a hand on his chin, forcing him to let go and then Riku’s lips are on his in a hot and wet kiss that makes his heart race as Riku’s fingers fuck into him. Everything in him moves fast and slow all at once, overwhelming but soothing, and through it all are Riku’s lips and his fingers, an anchor holding him steady so he can feel, and feel, and feel, and-

“Shhh, I’ve got you,” Riku says, a third finger slipping in just to stretch him a little more.

Sora opens his eyes, tears making his lashes cling together. He hadn’t realized he’d started crying. It’s a jarring realization, and yet he’s not scared. Not when he has Riku. Riku kisses him one more time as he slides his fingers out and then pulls away again as he gets off the bed, lube in hand. Sora swallows, watching as he slicks his cock and then sets it on the night table.

“Sit up for me,” Riku says. “Face the window, hands on the sill.”

It’s an odd command, but Sora obeys without question because all he wants is Riku back in his bed, pressed into his body once more. He rests his hands on the smooth wood of the windowsill, resting on his knees with his legs slightly apart. The bed shifts behind him as Riku gets on it and then warm hands are on his thighs, spreading him wider as Riku presses close along his back and then rests back on his heels so his cock rubs against Sora’s hole. Sora shifts to try and catch his balance but Riku stops him.

“Let me,” he says, pressing his lips to the back of Sora’s neck. “I’ll take care of everything. Trust me?”

Sora stares up at the moon. “Of course I do.”

“Good. Keep your hands there.” Another kiss to the back of his neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Sora whispers.

Riku makes him wait just one moment longer and then he’s easing Sora down, cock pressing in, in, in and Sora grips the windowsill so hard it creaks. He feels like he can’t breathe in the best sort of way. What remaining thoughts that had lingered melt away as he rests fully back in Riku’s arms. Riku cradles his hips, rocking him up and then back down before grinding against him, pressing deep and making Sora’s eyes flutter shut as he chokes on a moan. He can’t move at all, his thoughts consumed only on the feel of Riku against him and in him and the feel of the smooth wood beneath his fingers that he absolutely cannot let go of.

Sometimes, he craves nothing more than being pinned down, being taken hard and fast like he doesn’t matter at all because it’s the fastest way to shut his brain up. But despite how much longer it takes, he prefers this. He prefers how Riku can control every movement and that he can let go truly because the thing is, even if the pain and violence that he begs for on the worst nights gives him a moment of peace, it can’t satisfy the bone deep need he has to feel safe for just a moment.

Just one moment.

One of Riku’s hands slides up cup his neck, a steadying grip as his other hand holds Sora still so he can roll his hips up and fuck him slow and deep, cock sliding against his prostate and making him shake. His own cock aches, hard and painful and desperate to come. He wants to grab it, jerk himself off fast and wet, but he’s not ready to let go of the peace he’s found, not yet. Riku presses a kiss to the back of his neck and he gasps, trying to shove down but too weakened by the slow pleasure Riku’s been burning him up with.

"When you’re ready, you can touch yourself,” Riku says. “Whenever you’re ready. I’ll keep going until then.”

His tone sounds confident, but Sora can hear the tremor in his voice as he fucks into him again and knows that Riku’s just as shaken and on edge as he is. But he knows Riku will keep his promise. That’s the whole point of it all.

Sora leans forward just to feel the pressure of Riku’s hand on his throat, grounding him like a tether, a reminder that he can’t float away. Riku squeezes, reading what he wants just like always does. Riku’s other hand slides up to brush over his nipples one at a time, a teasing touch that just layers on top of everything else and coaxes another low moan of Riku’s name from his lips. Then both his hands slide down, over his hips and then up to the middle of his back. Sora goes where he pushes, back arching and arms folding down until he can rest his head on them. Riku shifts then and-

“Fuck, fuck, yes please, please, Riku…please…”

The words continue to spill out of his lips as the new angle has Riku driving right into his prostate and sending shockwaves of pleasure through him with each thrust. His thighs burn from the effort of holding himself up but that just makes him like it even more. The delicious mixture of burning muscles, sweat, and indulgent arousal hollows him out and leaves him a shaking wreck that clings to the windowsill until his fingertips go white.

“Riku, Riku, yes, ah…ahhh…”

“That’s it,” Riku says, voice rough and low as his hands bite at Sora’s hips even as each thrust remains slow and purposeful. “I’ve got you, Sora. I’ve got you…”

Sora chokes on another moan and let’s one of his hands drop down, desperate to come. The coordination escapes him though so his arm dangles as he whines into his other arm, shaking and shuddering as tears start to fall from his eyes again.

“You want to come?” Riku asks, hand already going down to grab Sora’s and bring it towards his cock.

“Please! Please…”

“Shh, I’ve got you,” Riku says and circles both their hands around Sora’s cock, helping them both stroke.

It only takes a few strokes before Sora breaks apart, coming with a moan that chokes off into silence as his breath leaves him. He’s aware, distantly, of Riku pushing in and chasing his own orgasm as Sora comes and comes, cock spilling out come in a thick drip as he trembles. He sucks in a gasping breath and goes limp. Riku kisses his neck and Sora barely notices him come, mind floating up high and far away.

He’s a limp doll as Riku pulls out and he can’t help but whimper as he feels come spill down his thighs as Riku guides him down onto his back. He stares at the ceiling as tears dry on his cheeks. There’s no space in his mind to think a single thought so he spreads his legs easy as can be at Riku’s urging, sinking into blissful peace so deep that when he feels Riku’s tongue slide against his thighs it just makes him hum and reach down to thread his fingers through Riku’s soft white hair.

Riku licks the come off his thighs and then further up until he presses an open-mouthed kiss to his hole, licking over it with no real intent. Sora sighs and lets Riku do as he wants, too content to care either way. It feels nice, even if there’s no desperate arousal chasing after it. He just feels cared for. Riku pulls away and climbs off the bed. Sora fights to open his eyes, smiling when he sees Riku looking at him with the soft look he only ever gives when he thinks Sora isn’t looking. He flushes when his eyes meet Sora’s.

 “Thank you,” Sora says.

“Of course,” Riku says, reaching down to squeeze Sora’s knee. “Get under the covers before you get cold.”

Sora obeys, each movement slow as satisfied exhaustion tugs at his mind. Once he’s under, Riku slides the top sheet off and throws it on the floor with their dirty clothes before heading to the connected bathroom. Sora listens to him wash his hands and brush his teeth, mind skittering along the edge of sleep but not quite able to slip down when he’s still alone in the bed.

Riku slides back under the covers with him when he’s done and he turns in his arms, lifting his chin up in a silent request for a kiss. Riku grants it with a soft smile and a warm hand cupping his cheek.

“I love you so much,” Riku says after, foreheads pressed together tight as he stares into Sora’s eyes. “So much…”

“I love you too,” Sora says, words slurring together.

The last thing Sora sees before sleep pulls him away is Riku’s smile.


End file.
